What's in a name - The name-change debate.

What’s in a name?  Apparently, a lot when you are about to get married. The age-old name-change debate is timeless and often tedious for some. Do you change your name? Do you keep your birth name? Do you hyphenate? Well, because I’m so awesome and just like adding a little confusion in your life just for the hell of it; I’m going to give you 5 perfectly good reasons for doing either one. Sorry, can’t make ALL the decisions for you, I’m just a planner. But I can give you perfectly good reasons to do whatever the hell you like! :-) Awesome right?

5 reasons to keep your maiden name

1. You're a feminist. - If you are a feminist and believe that women fought for equality and shouldn’t have to change the one thing that bears a mark of their individuality. After several thousand years of gender-based discriminations getting to keep your surname could be your stand against such discriminations. Women didn’t burn their bras so you have to wear a man's name in 2013 and all your life – let him change to yours, right!? VIVA! Hehehehe…*wipes fingerprints from the tin-opener and walks slowly away from the can of worms*
2. Oh dear! Paperwork - Paperwork gives EVERYONE a headache (of course this is based on absolutely no scientific evidence whatsoever). It takes effort having to switch; changing your bank accounts and other account details, passport, ID, all kinds of admin no one really wants to do (my general sweeping statements might get me into trouble one day – but for now we move on).
3. Professional Identity - You probably have professional achievements under your birth name, which might be lost in the name-change. Put plainly, there’s a reason why Tina Turner went through court battles for a name that Ike gave her – trust me it had very little to do with the Turner’s being her “new and loving family”.
4. Credit Rating - You probably want to keep separate credit ratings for whatever reason. Maybe there’s loans you, alone, might need?
5. Divorce - Look, no one wants to think of the possibility of divorce on the eve of their wedding. Just like no one wants to think of the possibility of a heart attack just before a greasy burger and equally greasy chips. Or no one wants to think about accidents just before getting into a car. But hey, this is life, these things happen so maybe take a time-out and consider, if the worst happens, and all romance fails, do you really want to be walking around with the last name that reminds you of your car-wrecked marriage?

5 reasons to take your partner’s surname

1. You're a traditionalist - There is something comforting about something that has been done from generation to generation with no fail. There’s something romantic, meaningful and less chaotic about just following routine. I eat my dinner THEN dessert no matter how many of my "new-age" friends tell me there’s nothing wrong with eating your dessert first, I just like the routine – I refuse to “think outside the box” on this one.  If your mother and her mother and her grandmother changed their names and it worked for them; maybe you want it for yourself. No reason just nje!
2. Explanations! Explanations! Explanations! - Your husband (let’s call him Sipho Dube) has to go to the hospital for some emergency or other; you walk into the emergency room. “Hi I’m Phindi Ndlovu here for Sipho Dube”. Nurse gives you a funny look “I’m sorry only members of the family allowed”. Now, you have to start explaining and sometimes proving who you are. Life is too short to be explaining your relationship. Phindi Dube might be easier? Yes, No? You can pick up theater tickets, dry cleaning and anything else you care to carry that is registered under your spouse’s name.
3. Kids’ Last Name - Maybe you just want everyone to have the same last name. Not you being Phindi Ndlovu and your son is Booitjie Dube? (Remember the hospital drama? *yawn*). It is just less drama to say “we are The Dube’s” anyways. Just plain and simple.
4. You're excited about being a Mrs - Maybe you just like the idea of being “Mrs So&So”. Admit it, a part of you (yes, even if it’s a small softer part somewhere behind that tough feminist exterior) finds the idea pretty exciting. Admit it. Hehehehe ok don’t.
5. “Better” Surname - Maybe, like me, you ALWAYS have to explain your surname, what language is it? Where are you from? How do you pronounce it? Blah blah blah *yawn*. I don’t hate my surname or anything but maybe having an “easier” to pronounce, easier to make a dinner reservation without having to spell it 500 hundred times all the time surname would be better (hyperbole is my thing ok, get over it). But then again then I’d have to marry someone named “Smith” or something...hmmm...ah well, you get my drift. Having a surname like “Smith” sure beats “Swarkefitszingh” or something.

5 reasons to hyphe-nate

1. Best-of-Both - You get to have your spouse’s surname and you get to keep yours, no rocket science here…moving right along.
2. It-Stands-Outs - You can always find your name on a guest list or any list for that matter. It's the longest one! No more holding up the queue for you! Whoohoo!
3. You-Stand-out - Everyone always remembers your name. ALWAYS! Tell me you won’t remember the lady you were having a chat with the other day whose surname was “Swarkefitszingh-Smith”…no? ok nevermind.
4. That-Professional-Identity-Thing-Again - You probably have professional achievements under your birth name, and they won’t get lost in transition.
5. It’s-unique - You made it up so it is yours and yours alone. How many Swarkefitszingh-Smith's do you know? I'll wait...Whether it's homage to your parents, an honor to your new family, it just becomes part of who you are. If you get to have your cake and eat it too when choosing it that’s pretty awesome too right?

At the end of the day, whatever you decide to go with for your last name is your decision, you have to live with it for the rest of your life (or not, whatever) so don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you are not sure of in the name of tradition, guilt or by teasing your birthname, Swarkefitszingh is a great surname!  Your last name. Your choice. Live and let live.

*side note:         Please don’t name your child “Booitjie”. PLEASE!

*side note:         No, Swarkefitszingh is not an actual surname, unless…it is...then maybe you should consider changing it? Ok, ok, I’m sorry to “The Swarkefitszingh’s”